Before we all hit that “create blog” button, we had to come up with a name – something to identify us amongst the millions of other blogs out there. How did you decide on your blog name? What did it take for you to finally decide this was the one?
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Another great prompt question from lifewithgraceandbeauty.com on this 30-day blog challenge. I’ve not been able to participate for a few days, so am re-joining participants today.
Those of you who have been following me for a while will be aware that I own two blogs. In addition to this one (A Purpose-driven achiever), I also created Women of Warfare!
Blog 1: Women of Warfare!
I knew what the name of this blog would be before I created it. For a long time, I’d felt a desire to reach out to marginalised, or wounded women and encourage them. As someone who’d endured a perpetual cycle of negative circumstances and despaired of things ever changing for the better, I could relate to those who saw themselves as helpless victims. Yet deep down within me there was a fighter who could not accept that this was to be my lot in life. As a born-again believer, I knew this should not be so. I knew Christ’s cruel death had purchased an abundant and victorious life for me, which I wasn’t experiencing and I didn’t like feeling short-changed!
Now since I’d been a Christian long enough to know that God uses your experiences to strengthen you, so that you in turn can strengthen others, I believed God wanted me to reach out to other women whom Satan had hoodwinked into thinking they could not escape the negative course in which their lives were entrenched.
I realised that deliverance from a victim mind-set requires warfare against the Enemy. I envisaged a group of women who could (and would) turn their lives around through prayer, through spiritual warfare, and whom I knew my Father God wanted to transform from victims into victors—hence the name Women of Warfare!
I particularly liked that the name evoked an image of strong warrior-like women, who would not allow themselves to be brow-beaten and deceived by the Enemy. I also liked that the abbreviated form of this name (WoW!) spoke of admiration, amazement and impressive wonder. I had a vision of an army of women, who not only learn to walk as victorious overcomers but use their prowess as spiritual warriors for the benefit of their family members and loved ones, or any situation that touches their hearts.
Blog 2: A Purpose-driven Achiever
This name is a compromise on the name I originally wanted because it (Purpose-driven Woman) and other permutations had already been taken. I went through a couple of name changes before finally settling on this one. I’m so glad now that my original name was not available. I think this one has a positive ring about it. I believe it speaks of both aspiration and accomplishment and I believe it is more in keeping with the type of woman I desire to be.
The name is part inspired by Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose-driven Life, and part a reflection of my desire to glorify God as a purpose-driven believer, whose life is focused, fruitful and successful in terms of pursuing my pre-ordained destiny.
MY THINKING CORNER aims to share positive thoughts to encourage, inspire and motivate us on our journey in life and towards personal achievement and success.
Every Tuesday, Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha hosts a weekly challenge to share snippets of positive thoughts. Please check out her blog and if you’d like to join in – see Jacqueline’s “Thinking Corner” (Tuesday Trickles) for further details.
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“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
(George Bernard Shaw)
Today, my thoughts turn towards communication and how we, as purpose-driven believers and dream-achievers, can become more effective at communicating with others.
I believe communication is the life-blood of relationships. Customers and retailers, husbands and wives, parents and children, politicians and constituents, all rely on effective communication (the exchange of words and non-verbal clues), to make themselves understood.
Whether the relationships in our life flourish or die, depend upon our communication skills. Show me a relationship where the parties refuse to speak to, or trade insults with one another, and we can pretty much deduce that the said parties are in strife, or are indifferent to one another’s feelings. This type of behaviour amounts to dysfunctional communication. This type of behaviour undermines success.
So how can we improve our communication skills? The following are a few practical tips that I believe will enhance our ability to relate positively with others.
Use your words to build—whether bridges, self-esteem, or understanding. Avoid the temptation to exchange insults or putdowns. You not only diminish the person at whom your barbs are aimed but you also diminish yourself.
Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble. (Yehuda Berg)
Be engaged in the moment. Are you listening (both to what is said and what remains unsaid), or merely waiting for the other person to stop talking, so you can have your say? Worst still, do you interrupt someone speaking mid-flow?
Don’t be habitually competitive. Avoid turning social exchanges into a “well, my circumstances trump yours!” scenario. (I’m sure many of you will know someone whose health issues are always worse than yours, or whose house/car/children are bigger or better than yours).
Follow known etiquette in each communication context (e.g. observe personal boundaries when speaking face-to-face and don’t use CAPITAL LETTERS within email).
Be aware that potentially negative signals sent (non-verbally) to your audience, may unintentionally contradict what you say. For example, I recently watched an episode of Come Dine with Me. One of the contestants kept smirking whilst eating a meal prepared by someone he saw as a potential rival. He had already discounted the other competitors.
Everyone around the table noticed it and asked whether he was enjoying his meal, to which he replied that he was. However, the host saw his behaviour as an unspoken and unfavourable comment on her food and, to me the onlooker, the smirks seemed to be a gamesmanship ploy, particularly as the host’s menu was similar to his own.
Again, let me remind you of Tip No. 1. Refrain from sending negative, non-verbal signals to others, as a deliberate put down.
Make appropriate eye contact. Neither stare at someone so intently you make them feel uncomfortable, nor on the other hand, give the person with whom you are speaking, the impression that they’re not worthy of your time. Whilst conversing with others, avoid texting or staring at your phone, looking around at what others are doing, or continuing with your duties.
Be concise in your verbal exchanges, thereby allowing your listener to engage with you in dialogue and ask for more info etc., if they are interested. However, don’t be curt whilst communicating with others. And please don’t commit the cardinal sin of going on and on and on, ad nauseam, because you happen to have a captive audience. In effect, you are saying to your listener(s): in future, avoid this person like the plague!
Smile. You may give others the wrong impression if your face looks hard and unapproachable, or stern and unfriendly. Also, remember a smile makes your voice sound warm and helpful, when speaking on the telephone.
Finally, to my fellow believers, remember God requires us to season our speech with salt (Colossians 4:6) and to keep our lips from speaking with guile (1 Peter 3:10). Furthermore, no matter how articulate, or eloquent we might be, if our communication with others is not expressed with, or motivated by agapē love, then (according to 1 Corinthians 13:1), in the eyes of our Father God, our endeavours are the equivalent of loud, clashing symbols!
Are you guilty of any communication blunders?
If so, which of the above tips will you begin to put into practice this week?
Please share your response to this post in the comment box below. If you enjoyed reading, or considered the above tips to be useful, don’t hesitate to like and share this post with your social media contacts. My thanks in anticipation!