A Year in the Life of Ms Mediocrity

 

 

Goals:

1)     Improve diet

2)    Get fit

3)    Deepen spiritual walk

4)    Discover my destiny

5)    Become more caring and sharing

 

JANUARY

  • Joined Pilates, Zumba and Salsa classes
  • Joined a “New Year – New You” meet-up group
  • Purchased a moleskin journal to record thoughts and gratitude daily.

 

FEBRUARY

  • Put journal away – turns out have nothing meaningful to say
  • Resolved to quit judging, criticizing and fault-finding
  • Visited charismatic church and joined in with the “happy clappy” brigade, despite feeling lippy and iffy.

 

MARCH

  • Went on 7-day detox diet. Resolved to drink plenty of water and eat more fruit and veg
  • Donated all worldly goods to charity
  • Took back worldly goods after reading an adverse report about this charity. Decided charity begins at home.

 

APRIL

  • Got into arguments with best friend, family member and next-door-neighbour.
  • Retrieved journal from my “unused items” draw – now have plenty to say about those so-and-so’s!
  • Regaled the whole sorry saga to my new friends at the Meet-up group.

 

MAY

  • Realised have not only defeated purpose of personal development journal but have also broken resolution to stop judging etc.
  • Repented and called in at local Catholic Church to confess and light some candles. No way am I going to admit this spiritual blip to the “happy clappy” bunch!
  • Left Meet-up group. Did not find them very supportive.

 

JUNE

  • Read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers. Realised already am one. Yay! Have spent more than 10,000 hours eating the wrong foods, having the wrong attitude and saying the wrong things. Celebrated with a tofu and beansprout salad washed down with a kale and cod-liver oil smoothie.

 

JULY

  • Listened to motivational messages on YouTube and followed Lady Cee’s two blogs – A Purpose-driven achiever and Women of Warfare!
  • Resolved to read entire Bible this year in the Amplified version.

 

AUGUST

  • Hit incredibly tedious section during a Bible-reading session about the Amorites, Canaanites and Jebusites. Realised have become a Bored-Until-I-Scream-ite and so give up Bible-reading plan and return to previous custom of only reading Psalm 23 now and again.
  • Read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert to compensate, which stirs an overwhelming desire to eat, eat, eat.
  • Gave up diet.
  • Consoled self by jumping onto that new “see-food” programme which allows one to eat as much as you can of whatever you fancy. Bliss!

 

SEPTEMBER

  • Bought new clothes as old ones no longer fit.
  • Donated old clothes to the Salvation Army
  • Hurt back lifting self out of the doldrums, so quit Pilates, Zumba and Salsa classes.

 

OCTOBER

  • Volunteered for mission trip abroad. Fundraising attempts for trip distinctly discouraging. Friends won’t take me seriously and pastor of charismatic church says he can’t support initiative to “save endangered hedonists”.
  • Took exception to pastor’s stance: (Jesus loved and spent most of his time with sinners), so left the “happy clappy” church.
  • Journaled about my deep disappointment. It sure is lonely on the high road!

 

NOVEMBER

  • Joined Salvation Army on the streets at weekends hoping to meet Mr Right (who doesn’t love a guy in uniform?).
  • Got roped into serving soup to homeless down-and-outs
  • Shook dust from feet when an old drunk spat on me (what do you mean – turn the other cheek?)
  • Thanked God for common sense (My mother didn’t raise a fool!) and made sure incident recorded in journal.

 

DECEMBER

  • Cancelled mission trip.
  • Booked all-inclusive luxury holiday to Barbados. After all I’ve been through, I deserve it!
  • Attended New Year Eve’s party and commiserated with fellow failures
  • Resolved to do better next year.

3, 2, 1… Happy New Year!

 

 

CREDIT: The above CC0 image comes courtesy of Pixabay.com

 

 

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2 thoughts on “A Year in the Life of Ms Mediocrity

  1. I know this shouldn’t make me laugh but part of me was laughing like “how true this is!?” while the other part was like, “Oh shoot… did she get my journal to know this stuff?’” Then I realized said journal didn’t record all of this! 🤦🏽‍♀️ No mediocrity this year!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Shell,
      Thank you for passing by and leaving me your comment. I’m glad you laughed because I meant it to be funny and light-hearted. I guess there are shades of Ms M in most of us – certainly in me anyway! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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